50 Shades: London, England!

That's some shady shade! London is a city that's unapologetic, she doesn't want your feeble words! From north to south and in between this Roman city of the future is a supermodel of the world! London will take those queens down, she's got fifty shades to throw at you! Let those Pearly Kings and Queens serve their London hot couture! Queen Elizabeth II, reign onwards Q! 


Hey Queen! Lizzie, let us spill the tea? Yes! Buckingham Palace is the place to have a good old fashion Kiki! Yes, I'm British but when I checked out Buckingham Palace I was just like 'get out of my way!' London is a quick paced city that welcomes you with a smile but she'll read you to filth when you aren't looking! It's the London way or the high way! I allowed my patriotic side have its moment, I was royally impressed at the show piece of the British Royal Family. Westminster snatched tens across the board! We embrace the international vibe in London, people from the four corners of the globe with those cameras, trying and catch a glimpse of Queenie and her clan but we had plans! Liz, you better work! Spilling the tea I think Queen E was home at Buckingham Palace that day, something to do with the flag? The American's put their hands up to the Royals, those folks just love our Royal Family! You're welcome! They weren't throwing any shade! Since Prince George was born we have seen a boom in tourism!

I can't say what makes me love London? Maybe because I was born there? West Midlands heart, London by that Great British burgundy book! Get hooked on London's intoxicating vibe, let's stay with Westminster because cupid boy you'll see the good stuff! Forget Soho, you know its all about executive realness if you know what I mean?! Throwing some serious shade on the scene is the political side of things for the decisions are made in the Houses of Parliament. The Elizabeth Tower stands like a Glamazon, maybe she was based on female phenomenon? Let's keep that political shade for next time, don't blame me if I bring that issue up, it would just get real ugly! How many shades of London have I thrown so far? I've lost count! London's political avenue makes its voice heard, those protesters fight for their respected cause! Bring it for the children! Thinking that I was going to cancel on this straight talking blog makes my blood boil, let's got forth to throw some more shade! Oh, London! London knows she's got capital status! 


Let's Azonto down to the West African vibe, a controversial choice but I was brave enough to try some Jollof Rice and Beef! African queen Realness walking the runway, the category is?This part of London brought Realness, not that many people from outside of London know this part of the game! Make that your challenge to make a change? Consider that done! Take the Docklands Light Railway to Woolwich Arsenal to experience London's take on Accra and Lagos, I told you London's got many sides to her complex character. I chose 'Tasty' to order that Jollof Rice, it was a taste I won't forget! Yes, I had another reason to try something new! The young British African ladies served realness with their weaves and hairpieces, serving competition for real in London's SE18! A girl has to travel, Crossrail is coming to Woolwich Arsenal in the coming months! Intertwined with the West African vibe I noticed that Woolwich's waterfront and barracks will be London's new address. London serves stormy weather but she will always look after her own! 

Serve your wig or weave, African lady! Woolwich brings the Firepower with a sickening new museum that educates the willing about the wars and artillery of now and yesterday's battles. Woolwich has an extensive history with its story dating back to the days of the Royal Arsenal. Eat some Jollof Rice and Beef, educate yourself about the Arsenal then you'll be a champion! I told you that I was bringing back some shade! Let's empower Woolwich because destiny could well be yours SE18! I have friends from this part of London, they are genuine and down to earth, that's all that matters! London is a bit like me, we're both unapologetic so recognise! Embrace the African vibe, I used to live in Newark, New Jersey where her Downtown served West African & 1920's realness! Just because a place has a cultural influence and a kick ass wartime story positive shade shall be thrown! Just spill the Tea! Turn out the lights, wake up our souls, London won't never ever be alone! Get turned, Woolwich! Consider that stolen! Wool'ich done told you! 


Flashing back to those snatched visits back to London, I lived for Soho and it's legendary Chinatown town! Getting my Chinese food fix from a young age had to be done! I lived for those gates that we needed to make a wish under. I always knew when I left Leicester Square Underground Station it meant that London's Chinatown would be nearby. In the here and now I would do anything to be back in the familiarity of London's Chinatown. Why is London's Chinatown one of my shades? From a young age the area has attracted me to pay extra attention to the food and to the surroundings, the lights and buildings. I'm currently looking for a job in the Far East, things will work out in their own time but I believe it will all work out perfectly. Have I gone all soft? Yes, because the West End and Soho holds such a place in my heart. Leaving the delicious Chinese food behind me, I'll let the other side of London become known. I'll get back to Chinatown soon, then to Mainland China for that job opportunity! Watch me, L! 

Just like delicious Chinese food, I can find something equally as delicious in Soho! I knew from when I was a little boy that Soho held something different for me. Fast forwarding to my 19th birthday I was fronted with an amazing drag show at Madame Jojo's on Brewer Street, during that night walking down the rainbow lit streets I felt something different in my water. Knowing what that difference was didn't take me long, I had always had an affinity with Soho as a boy, as a young man I was attracted to Prowlers windows! Did I want the underwear or the models? Both! That night cemented many things in my head and heart that had already been there but just hadn't been sparked. Like a firework, I would burn bright and return to London's Soho to marry the night! Soho holds more than fifty shades, I know that it's helped mould my character, that 19th birthday night laid the cement for sure! Taking the rainbows and Chinese food with me will keep that Soho moment alive! I'll love you and of course I will stick around! You are magic! 


People have been talking since the beginning of time, London has stood that test because she serves with bridge's that reunite the northern and southern sides of the city. Captured above is London's Tower Bridge, she is London's most iconic bridges to stretch the Thames gap. On the southern side Shad Thames can be found in the London Borough of Southwark, that part of town turns it back to Dickensian London with its former warehouses and brew-houses. Why not try a pure brew pint at the Anchor Tap on Horselydown Lane? London wants you, but remember she doesn't appreciate slackers! Crossing the bridges of London needs to be done with focus, stick to the path and you'll be fine! Tower Bridge reigned as top dog during London's shipping era but there's always a new girl to throw the shade as usual! Rising from nothing The Shard is the skyscraper for now, she's the future? Build her a they-friend! You just know, London won't leave you behind! Serving, you know L wants more! In the spotlight, LDN will be up all night! 

Okay, I'm going to break it down because I call the shots here! Upon my last visit to London I didn't go to Camden Town, I had seen her on my previous trip so I chose something new. Shoreditch, Spitalfields and Brick Lane was the answer to that question, searching for Huguenot realness I found that and the work place of Jack the Ripper! I got my drink on with some crazy fools at the Ten Bells Tavern on the corner of Fournier Street, then I stumbled down to Brick Lane for a curry! I'll always be shameless! That Jack did what he needed to do! You wanted to say that I know you did! I said 'Shalom' to Golders Green and Stamford Hill! I had some Kosher Chicken Soup and a Cream Cheese Bagel or two, I tell you London I wasn't disappointed! Never! The London Underground is the toughest mother out of the lot, the commuters of London have a code so don't break that sacred thing! No eye contact! London definitely has fifty shades of everything you needed to know! London's got you a new song! OK!

She's Ready!  

Joseph Harrison

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