Monday, 11 August 2014

50 Shades: London, England!

That's some shady shade! London is a city that's unapologetic, she doesn't want your feeble words! From north to south and in between this Roman city of the future is a supermodel of the world! London will take those queens down, she's got fifty shades to throw at you! Let those Pearly Kings and Queens serve their London hot couture! Queen Elizabeth II, reign onwards! 

Hey Queen! Lizzie, let us spill the tea? Yes! Buckingham Palace is the place to have a good old fashion Kiki! Yes, I'm British but when I checked out Buckingham Palace I was just like 'get out of my way!' London is a quick paced city that welcomes you with a short smile, its the London way or the high way! I let my patriotic side have its moment, I was royally impressed at the show piece of the British Royal Family. Westminster wins! We embrace the international vibe in London for people from the four corners of the globe try and catch a glimpse of Queenie and her clan but we had plans! Liz, you better work! Spilling the tea I think Queen E was home at Buckingham Palace that day, something to do with the flag? The American's put their hands up to the Royals, those folks just love our Royal Family! They weren't throwing any shade! Since Prince George was born we have seen a boom in tourism. Thanks!

I can't say what it is that makes me love London? Maybe because I was born there? West Midlands heart, London by that Great British burgundy book! Get hooked on London's intoxicating vibe, let's stay with Westminster because Cupid boy you'll see the good stuff! Forget Soho, you know its all about executive realness if you know what I mean?! Throwing some serious shade on the scene is the political side of things for the decisions are made in the Houses of Parliament. The Elizabeth Tower stands like a Glamazon, maybe she was based on female phenomenon? Let's keep that political shade for next time, don't blame me if I bring that issue up, it would just get real ugly! How many shades of London have I thrown so far? I've lost count! London's political avenue makes its voice heard, those protesters fight for their respected cause! Bring it for the children! Thinking that I was going to cancel on this straight talking blog makes my blood boil, let's got forth to throw some more shade! Go, London!

Let's Azonto down to the West African vibe, a controversial choice but I was brave enough to try some Jollof Rice and Beef! This part of London brought realness, not that many tourists know this part of the game so make that your challenge to make a change? Consider that done! Take the Docklands Light Railway to Woolwich Arsenal to experience London's take on Accra and Lagos, I told you London's got many sides to her complex character. I chose 'Tasty' to order that Jollof Rice, its a taste I won't forget so that's another reason to try something new! The young British African ladies served realness with their weaves and hairpieces, serving competition for real in London's SE18! A girl has to travel, Crossrail is coming to Woolwich Arsenal in the coming months! Intertwined with the West African vibe I noticed that Woolwich's waterfront and barracks will be London's new executive address. Let's go!

Serve your wig or weave, African lady! Woolwich brings the Firepower with a sickening new museum that educates the willing about the wars and artillery of now and yesterday's battles. Woolwich has an extensive history with its story dating back to the days of the Royal Arsenal. Eat some Jollof Rice and Beef, educate yourself about the Arsenal then you'll be a champion! I told you that I was bringing back some shade! Let's empower Woolwich because destiny could well be yours SE18! I have friends from this part of London, they are genuine and down to earth, that's all that matters! London is a bit like me, we're both unapologetic so recognise! Embrace the African vibe, I used to live in Newark, New Jersey where her Downtown served West African 1920's realness! Just because a place has a cultural influence and a kick ass wartime story positive shade shall be thrown! Just spill the Tea! Turn out the lights, wake up our souls London you'll never be alone! Get turned up Woolwich! No! 

People have been talking since the beginning of time, you're standing that test because she serves with bridges that reunite the northern and southern sides of the city. Captured to the left is Tower Bridge, one of London's most iconic bridges to stretch the Thames gap. On the southern side there's Shad Thames in the London Borough of Southwark, that part of town turns it back to Dickensian London with its former warehouses and brew-houses. Why not try a pure brew pint at the Anchor Tap on Horselydown Lane? London wants you, she doesn't appreciate slackers! Crossing the bridges of London needs to be done with focus, stick to the path and you'll be fine! Tower Bridge reigned as top dog during London's shipping era but there's always a new girl to throw the shade as usual! Rising from nothing The Shard is the skyscraper for now, I say she's the future?! Build her a boyfriend or girlfriend or they-friend already! Now! 

Okay, I'm going to break it down because I call the shots here! Upon my last visit to London I didn't go to Camden Town, I had seen her on my previous trip so I chose something new. Shoreditch, Spitalfields and Brick Lane was the answer to that question, searching for Huguenot realness I found that and the work place of Jack the Ripper! I got my drink on with some crazy fools at the Ten Bells Tavern on the corner of Fournier Street, then I stumbled down to Brick Lane for a curry! I'll always be shameless! That Jack slayed! You wanted to say that I know you did! I said 'Shalom' to Golders Green and Stamford Hill! I had some Kosher Chicken Soup and a Cream Cheese Bagel or two, I tell you London I wasn't disappointed! The London Underground is the toughest mother out of the lot, the commuters of London have a code so don't break that sacred thing! London definitely has fifty shades of realness and sass, respect and don't forget Chinatown, she's got stories for next time! 

You're So Shady! 

Joseph Harrison

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