Secret Safe With Me: Blackpool, England!

Looking for a sweet escape I booked up a weekend to Blackpool. I wanted to see what the Vegas of the North had to show me! Blackpool, if you only saw what I saw, I knew that you were meant to be! I saw with brand new eyes that Blackpool is a town with hidden depths so I changed my name and left my dignity at the coach door as I stepped closer to the Promenade. Oh, Blackpool! 

Why Blackpool? I wanted to celebrate, I had just received my degree results! I wanted to party hard! Say what you want, say what whatever you like because I had a plan! Captured to the left is the Blackpool Tower that sits along Blackpool's historic promenade, I'm usually a foreign traveller but I like to switch things up every now and then. Blackpool just talk that talk to me! The shorts were out, with the sun blazing I checked into my hotel and hit the pavements of Blacks to see what was going on that Friday afternoon. I don't drink in the day so I left that trick for later. Blackpool has that individual feeling, its dubbed the Las Vegas of the North but I've been to the real thing and I saw some similarities for sure! Past the Stratosphere to find the vintage part of Las Vegas to learn why this Lancashire seaside town shares some of those full on antics. Surprisingly it looked like a holiday mecca, Two coaches for Blackpool? 

Somewhere to run towards? I was astounded by the sheer number of Hen and Stag groups going about their ways, yes I encountered more raucous Hens with their bride to be attire! Blackpool I fell for you! The day was almost as important as the night, seriously who am I kidding?! I booked up last minute to stay at McHalls Bed and Breakfast, located on Lord Street I was right around the corner from all the bars I had my sights set on! Breakfast was included within the price of single room for two nights, I crawled down to breakfast on the Saturday morning but there was no chance on my final morning but I won't reveal too much about that right now. Back to Blackpool! I felt like I was in a time machine, it was almost like time has stopped in Blackpool's town centre because it served British seaside realness! Pie and chips had to be on the menu for I wasn't going to find a salad in Blacks! Stupid! I had no second thoughts or regrets about choosing B'pool! Who was that sinner?! Oh, no B'Pool! 

I went to Blackpool as a young boy, I loved the penny arcades and the Illuminations but this time I wanted nothing more than a pint of Cider and to watch some razor sharp comedy along Blackpool's North Pier. I got ID'd everywhere in Blackpool, I took that as a compliment but this time I was old enough! It was a full house at the Merrie England Bar, home of the legendary comedian Joey Blower. This blog is all over the shop, when time is involved nothing went by a time ordered fashion in Blackpool that weekend, I just took what I saw as and when it happened! I had been informed by a friend that the comedy was more of a tourist thing, I didn't care I wanted in! Sipping my pint I was nursing a shocking hangover from the previous night, I braced myself for the blue jokes and risky chatter of Joey Blower's comedy! Joey Blower made everybody laugh with his punchlines and banter! You know I only got on stage, not planned at all!

Being the ringmaster of his own circus Joey Blower called the shots, telling jokes and making an example of certain members of the audience one lady reacted like a firecracker! If you ever attend his show, be prepared because you know who calls the shots! Just take a joke please, its Blackpool after all! If you must know I achieved a 2:1 degree so I will be graduating with honours, so I had a duty to celebrate one way or another! The weather was hotting up so that left one thing, I just had to get a drink but I kept composed because I wanted to be classy! Say what you want about Blackpool, the British seaside has had it tough over the last few years but after watching a documentary a few years ago called 'Blackpool Lights' the Las Vegas of the North was still alive and kicking, now isn't that good! Joey Blowers jokes were too much for me to go into right now but I was laughing without fail so that adult only comedy establishment on the North Pier is a must! Who is that beautiful sinner!? Me! 

I just wanted to have some fun! Blackpool's leading lady invited me to an evening of elegance and camp, I even got a selfie with DJ Zoe! Funny Girls had just celebrated its 20th anniversary, with a show dedicated to the very occasion I had to be a part of that celebration! Betty Legs is a now a Diamond, serving for 15 years at Blackpool's premier cabaret venue, each queen has her moment to shine! The Hens were out in full force, I became a honourary member of a lively group from Fleetwood. Funny Girl's served a medley of everything Cabaret, the Sound of Music and healthy serving of River Dance, concluding with a fabulous Spice Girls finale! The beauty of Funny's Girls is that drinks can be ordered throughout the show, no waiting in-between acts so its really easy! DJ Zoe entertained us all with our song requests, really entertaining her audience! From that curtain call my Friday night in Blackpool began! Yes!

Blackpool's Gay scene happened to be a hype of activity the two nights that I turned it up! I didn't need to know a lot about the bars and clubs because it was all about having a great time! Dressed to impress I lived it up Friday night at the Flying Handbag, ending the night at Kaos to find that my hotel was just in the right place! Feeling like dancing I dusted myself off and got back on it, Blackpool wasn't going to judge me! Meeting with one of my friends from uni who lived close by we hit the scene once again! Yes, that's where I saw Amy! My alter-ego 'Britney' was out to cause a load of crazy business, I'm no angel so we'll keep it that way. The Handbag served the music and we brought the moves, as my final night progressed the morning approached so we made it to Kaos for the final time. Don't ever! I want that applause! I loved the nightlife! Kaos was something else, I slayed whilst looking good and feeling fine! I have a confession, Blackpool you are the beautiful sinner! Oh!

Pure Drama!

Joseph Harrison 


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